I can calm my mind -- I can meditate -- but I experience anxiety as a physical problem, as my body heating up, as my heart rate speeding up, as adrenaline squeezes from my glands, into my body, WTF, there's no enemy at 1am, but my body is preparing to fight, shit, I'm wide awake now ( Read more... )

It is comforting to have T futzing about in the background as I rest after my 4-mile run. But, even though he's been away for three weeks, I'm heading to the condo today and he has plans with B. But this previously-normal kind of separation is also comforting, compared to the three weeks he was away. I recall spending three nights at the condo ( Read more... )

It started out as one of those long, pointless dreams about increasingly absurd travel delays, then turned into reunions with family members along the way, including some deceased, who were also having increasingly absurd travel reconfigurations, until I was car pooling with a distant relative and her husband from South Carolina back to DC, but ( Read more... )

I firmly believe it is OK to fantasize about things you would never actually do, perhaps because they are illegal or immoral or both ( Read more... )

mmmmmm